Abby's Secret
by FlyingPiglet
Summary: Abby's been keeping a secret. She never meant to tell, but when Tony finds out what she's hiding, will she have a choice? Just a little Gabby fluff.


The day had started early, and it looked like it was going to end late. The call from Dispatch had come in before DiNozzo's alarm had gone off that morning, and he'd headed straight to the crime scene. Now it was early evening and he was finally dropping the crate of evidence on the table in Abby's lab.

"Hey, Abbs, got a box full of fun for you. I have fingerprints, fibers, blood, mysterious gucky stuff. Plenty to keep your babies happy. Plus an extra special treat, just for you," he grinned, holding up a laptop encased in a plastic bag. "McGee was salivating over Lieutenant Cooper's hard drive, but I saved it for you."

"Aw, I always knew you loved me best," Abby smiled. Tony shot her a look. The words were right, but the squeal of delight and the joyful little wiggle were missing. She also made no move to get off her stool and come examine the bags he was unloading onto the table. Apparently all was not well in Abbyland.

Tony cast about for ideas as to what might be bothering his friend. "Sorry I'm getting all this to you so late," he ventured. "Did you have plans tonight?"

"Nope," Abby answered, making a loud popping sound out of the "p".

"Oh, that's right, the big date was _last_ night! How'd that go?"

Abby's smile disappeared. "Fine," she said, turning back to her computer.

"Just 'fine'? Gee, Abbs, your enthusiasm is…underwhelming."

With a small moan, Abby dropped her head into her hands. "Why do I do this to myself?" she groaned. "I swear, I'm giving up on men."

Suddenly Tony was beside her, the teasing note gone from his voice. "What happened, Abby? Did he get pushy with you?" Images of Abby huddled on the floor of the elevator, too scared to move, flashed through his mind. His voice hardened. "Tell me who he is. I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again."

"Stand down, Tony. He didn't do anything wrong. He was…nice." Abby said the word with such dejection in her voice that Tony couldn't help but chuckle.

"Nice? Is that Goth slang for crazed serial killer or something? 'Cause for a girl who says she had a fine date with a nice guy, you don't seem very happy."

"No, nice is just _nice_. Friendly, polite. He'd be fun to go bowling with. But that's all."

"Ah. No spark."

"I'd have gotten more of a tingle sticking my tongue on a 9-volt battery," Abby answered glumly.

"Well, at least you made a new friend, right?"

"I have lots of places I can go to make new friends, Tony. You put yourself through the trauma of a first date because you want to find someone _special_. Someone you could maybe think about spending your life with someday. And I'm never going to find that, so I'm giving up on dating."

"Come on, Abby. You can't give up because of one bad match-up. There are lots of guys out there—"

Abby shook her head. "No, Tony, there are lots of strikes out there. And I don't mean bowling strikes, 'cause that would actually be a good thing. I mean baseball strikes. The three-strikes-you're-out kind of strikes. And I've had way more than three, so I should have been out of the game a long time ago. It's time for me to pack up my bat and glove and go home. There's no reason to keep playing, because no one I go out with is going to be the man I want."

"Come on, Abbs, it was just one bad date. The next one will be better."

Abby shook her head again, her eyes wide and earnest, wanting him to understand. "Some people can fall in love every other week," she said. "Like you, Tony. Dating makes sense for you, because as long as the girl's reasonably attractive and can make you laugh, you could probably fall for her. OK, so it wouldn't be long before you moved on, but you'd be happy with her while it lasted, and that's what it's about, you know? But there are some people who can only love one person in their whole lives. Like Gibbs and Shannon," she added morosely. "Dating doesn't make any sense for Gibbs because he's already found the one woman he was meant to be with. He'll never be able to love anyone else, so what's the point in trying?" She sighed. "I'm like that, too, Tony. I'm a one-love-for-a-lifetime person, so dating is just pointless. You see?"

"Oo-kaay," Tony said slowly, trying to figure out why Abby sounded so defeated. "But since you're still looking for your one true love, wouldn't dating be the best way to find him?"

Abby sighed. "Yeah. Except I'm not still looking."

Tony watched, shocked, as tears filled wide green eyes and spilled over, dragging mascara with them. "Abby? Are you saying…?"

She swiped the moisture from her cheeks in irritation. "That I've already found the one man I'll love for the rest of my life? Yeah. Which pretty much makes the whole dating thing a waste of time and energy, because anyone I date is never going to be more than just a friend."

"I don't get it, Abbs. If you're in love with someone, why aren't you with him?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "Because he doesn't love _me_, Tony," she said, giving him a _duh!_ look.

Tony shook his head, confused. That didn't make sense. Who wouldn't love Abby? He had to be be missing something here. "So…you told him how you feel and he turned you down?"

"I didn't have to tell him. He's…unavailable."

Another tear slid down her cheek, and Tony's heart ached for his friend. "Ah, Abbs, I'm so sorry," he said, gathering her into a gentle hug. "He's married?"

"No, he's not married!" Abby rolled her eyes.

"Gay?" Abby punched his arm and Tony backed quickly out of range.

"Well what, then?"

"He's straight and unattached, but…his heart is already taken."

Tony let his inner investigator sift through the bits of information Abby had given him. If Abby knew this man well enough to be in love with him, chances were good that Tony knew him, too. Someone whose heart was already taken…an odd choice of phrase. Why hadn't Abby just said he was in love with someone else? But wait, she'd also said he was unattached, so _not_ with someone…. _He'll never be able to love anyone else…._

Tony's eyes widened as thoughts, images shifted like a kaleidoscope and fell into a new pattern. Teasing conversations, affectionate looks, embraces that seemed as natural as breathing…they all came together to form a picture that shouldn't have astonished him but somehow did. How long had he been surrounded by this without figuring out what was going on right in front of him? And had someone else been in the middle of it, too, without really understanding what it all meant to Abby?

More importantly, would understanding what it meant to her make a difference?

"You have to tell him, Abby."

The sudden seriousness in Tony's voice made Abby realize she'd revealed more than she'd meant to. She hopped off her stool and went to sort through evidence bags, putting distance between them.

"I couldn't do that, Tony. It would make him feel bad. Like I said, he doesn't care about me that way."

"You don't know that."

"Well, yeah, I kinda do. I mean, if he loved me, wouldn't he have told me already?"

"Right. Like you've told him? Abby, sometimes people see obstacles that aren't really there. Maybe he loves you but he thinks it's one-sided. Did you ever stop to think about that?"

Abby allowed herself a moment for her heart to hold those words close, to imagine possibilities. Then she pushed the thoughts aside with a sigh. "No, I haven't. I told you, Tony, his heart belongs to someone else. It always will. There's no room there for me as anything other than a friend." She forced a smile to her face and pulled the slouch from her shoulders, standing tall. "So I'll take it and be happy I have that much of him. It's so much better than not having him in my life at all." She threw her arms around Tony, giving him a tight squeeze. "Thanks for caring, Tony. Now go away so I can get started on all this cool stuff you brought me."

Tony pulled her close for a second. "Tell him, Abby. He deserves to know. So do you."

Abby shoved at him playfully, and he released her with a sigh.

.

Exiting the lab, Tony almost ran over Gibbs just outside the lab door. The older man had a Caf-Pow! in his hand and a stunned expression on his face.

"Oh, hey, Boss," Tony said brightly. "Sorry, I didn't see you." He didn't have to ask how long Gibbs had been standing there. The look on the man's face told Tony that he'd gotten an earful of the conversation in the lab—and that it had tilted the ground under his feet.

Tony grinned. "You know, it's late. We can't really do anything else until we have some evidence results to work with, and that's going to be morning at least. I'll tell the rest of the team that we need to take off for the night. Heck, I'll send Ducky and Palmer home, too. We'll all get a good night's rest so we can hit it again early tomorrow morning, OK? You, uh, can make sure Abby doesn't stay too late, right?"

At Gibbs' barely perceptible nod, Tony headed for the elevator, whistling a happy tune.

Gibbs stepped into the lab, for once unsure of his welcome. Would she launch into scientist mode and pretend like the conversation with Tony hadn't happened? Would she send him away, too embarrassed to face him?

"Abby?" he asked quietly, setting the Caf-Pow! down on the table.

"How much did you hear?" OK, apparently they were going to talk about it.

"Enough to know DiNozzo's right. You need to tell this man how you feel about him, Abby."

"No, Gibbs, I don't. I will not risk what I already have for something that can't ever be. If he felt that way about me, he would have told me."

"Maybe he can't. There are rules—"

"Don't you dare quote Rule 12 to me!" Her temper flared and Abby whirled to her computer, putting her back to him. Her fingers flew furiously over the keyboard. "I don't want to hear it!"

Gibbs felt the tightness in his chest ease. There'd been a small, niggling doubt in his mind that the man she'd told Tony about might be someone from outside NCIS, someone he didn't even know. But if she thought Rule 12 might be an obstacle, he was on much firmer ground.

He went to stand behind her, deliberately stepping into her space. "Rule 12 doesn't apply," he said quietly. "You told DiNozzo you're in love with this man. Rule 12 is 'Don't date a co-worker', not 'Don't fall in love with a co-worker'."

"Isn't that splitting hairs?"

"No, it's not. How many women have gone psycho on Tony after he went out with them a few times and then dumped them? If I allowed him to date women he worked with, we'd always be dealing with the fallout. We'd never be able to keep a team together. Now if Tony ever comes to me and tells me he's fallen in love with someone he works with and he wants to settle down in a long-term, committed relationship, I'll give him my blessing."

"Aw, Gibbs, that's so sweet!" Abby couldn't help a small smile at the almost-movie reference that had slipped into Gibbs' speech. Tony probably would have gone with _Fatal Attraction_ rather than _Psycho_, but-

Abby's mind snapped back to the problem at hand and her smile gave way to confusion. "But if you're not talking about Rule 12, what other rules could be in the way?"

"Come on, Abbs, you've sat through those damn seminars. There are rules against harassment, against making unwelcome advances to a co-worker."

She whirled to face him, eyes wide. "Gibbs! It would never be like that! Nothing y—_he_ did could be an unwelcome advance. I love him!"

"He doesn't know that. And even if he suspected, he couldn't take a chance. He'd never want to hurt you, or make you feel uncomfortable." Gibbs saw her bottom lip start to tremble, and his heart squeezed tight. "You have to tell him how you feel, Abby," he rasped out. "More than that, you have to tell him what you want from him."

Her eyes filled with tears and she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. "I'm scared, Gibbs," she whispered into his shirt. "What if I pour out my heart to him and he tells me he just doesn't feel that way about me? I'd lose everything."

Some part of Gibbs' mind recognized the irony of the situation. He, the man who avoided emotional conversations at all costs, was demanding that Abby share her deepest feelings. With no guarantee that her feelings would be reciprocated, honesty could have devastating consequences for her, and he knew she wouldn't take that chance, no matter how many demands he made. If he wanted her to talk to him, he'd have to say words of his own, give her some kind of reassurance that she wasn't walking off the edge of a cliff.

He drew her close, pressing a kiss against her hair. His voice was hoarse, almost choked as he whispered roughly, "Not feel the same way about you? Not possible, Abbs. What man wouldn't fall to his knees and give thanks if he found out you loved him?"

"Gibbs!" she breathed, her arms tightening convulsively around him. He waited, but she didn't say anything more, and his heart started to pound. Had he been wrong? Was it someone else she cared for? His mind raced through the interactions he'd seen between her and other members of the team, casting frantically about for any signs he might have missed. She'd said the man wasn't married…McGee? Tony? Oh, God, not Ducky!

"Gibbs," she murmured, a thread of worry in her voice, "calm down. Your heart sounds like it's going to crash out of your chest."

Calm down? She wanted him to _calm down?_ Didn't she know that he was hanging by a thread here? His future, all the fantasies he'd had of sharing that future with her—it all rested on this moment, and she wasn't saying a word.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he ground out, trying not to sound desperate.

"Gibbs, I can't—"

"Damn it, Abby! Just tell me who he is, before you have to call Ducky up here to give me CPR."

"Well, Ducky could do the chest compressions, but I'd insist on doing the mouth-to-mouth part myself." She eased away, looking up at him with a grin until she saw the look on his face. Her smile gave way to distress.

"Oh, Gibbs, no! Don't look like that. It's you! It's always been you. How could you ever think I loved anyone else? I—"

Whatever else she would have said was lost as Gibbs' mouth came crashing down on hers. In all the fantasies he'd had about Abby over the years, he'd always imagined their first kiss would be sweet, tender. But his emotions were running too high for gentleness. This kiss was almost savage in its intensity. He brought a hand up to cup the back of her head, holding her still as he plundered her mouth, teeth nipping, tongue tangling with hers. Some part of his mind warned him to back off, go easy with her, but then he registered that she was kissing him back almost frantically. With a groan he backed her up against the work table, captured her face in both hands, and sank deeper into the kiss.

_At last._ The thought danced through his mind like a soft breeze, sweeping away years of uncertainty, insecurity, doubt. It was the last coherent thought he had before his mind shut down and instinct took over.

Long moments later Abby tried to draw away from him, but he hadn't had nearly enough of her yet. He dove in for another kiss, but she turned her face away. "Gibbs, stop," she gasped. "_Gibbs!_ We have to stop—"

The note of desperation in her voice was like a bucket of cold water dousing him. He jerked back, his eyes registering her heightened color, the look of panic in her eyes. She'd captured his hands, holding them still under her lab coat—_when had he moved them away from her face?_—and her chest heaved as she gasped for air. The buttons of her shirt were half undone, and he felt heat rise in his face. Good God, what was he doing? He wasn't some hormonal teenager, unable to control himself. He'd said she needed to tell him what she wanted from him, but at the first opportunity he'd practically mauled her.

"God, Abby! I didn't mean to—"

Her eyes widened as she saw the direction his thoughts were going. She clapped one hand over his mouth to stop his words and slid the other behind his neck to stop him from moving away.

"Not complaining, Gibbs," she gasped, still trying to catch her breath. "Not complaining _at all_. Just need a change of venue." Her eyes darted over his shoulder. "Cameras. Don't want to be the security guys' evening entertainment." She moved her hand and gave him a quick, searing kiss. "Your place or mine?" she murmured. She kissed him again, long and deep. "Your place is closer."

He couldn't help the grin that spread over his face. "My place it is, then."

"Good." Abby hastily fastened her buttons, using Gibbs' body to shield herself from the cameras until she was done up again. Then she grabbed his hand and dragged him around the lab with her as she shut down her babies for the night. "I'm riding with you. We can get my car later." She shot him a look over her shoulder. "I'm not giving you a chance to change your mind on the way home."

"That's not gonna happen, Abbs," he grinned. She smiled back, giving him another quick kiss before she scooted into her office to grab her lunch box and coat.

"I'm not taking any chances," she insisted as she shut off the lights and locked the door behind her. "I've waited too long for you, Gibbs. I'm not going to let you slip through my fingers now."

She stepped into his arms as the elevator doors closed behind them. A few seconds later, the elevator came to a shuddering halt as the emergency switch was flipped.

They'd make it to his place…eventually. But first he really, _really _needed to kiss her again.

.

**_A/N:_**_This is my first ever fan-fic. My undying gratitude to Leydhawk for her encouragement, gentle prodding, and keen insight. Without her support I would never, ever have worked up the courage to post this. Thank you, my friend!_


End file.
